The Ice Pick As A Motivational Tool

I love my life but there are days that get to me. You know, when you’ve just “Had it”. For years on my “Had it!” nights, I have joked with DH that he if he doesn’t quit contributing to the problem, he is going to awaken from a deep sleep to find an ice pick pushing against his temple, not to puncture, just hard enough to awaken him and really get his attention.

This has been a “Had it!” night.  Not really any one big thing, just lots of small things.  Cranky girls, whiny boys, disobedient dogs, defiant refusing to do homework kids, grocery store claiming to be out of the milk that’s on sale when I could see it in the back room waiting to be stocked (I like to buy a lot and freeze it), sippy cup of rotten milk found  leaking under a chair, DH leaving trash in the sink, etc. Through it all I didn’t yell, throw things, or use my “mean mom” voice, until DH came home.  

When DH came in, Hul­kster was turning off the power strip to the TV (and its accompanying cable/web browsing boxes). Rather than just telling the 21 month old no, and removing him from it, like I have done 45 times in the past 3 days. He started yelling “NO!”, at the top of his lungs. Well, as most do most toddlers, Hulkster has kind of a “lather, rinse, repeat” mentality when it comes to behavior that elicits a big response. Well DH kept yelling, Snark Girl had disappeared for 20 minutes and when told to do her homework stomped and snarled, OCDiva was flipping out about bent flashcards, The Boy was whining to watch “Octonauts”, and Hulkster was lathering rinsing and repeating.  The level of noise and bad attitudes combined with my day was just too much. 

I stated loudly that it would be a miracle if they all survived the night, especially DH because I was getting out the ice pick. Everything stopped. 

They all looked at me like I’d lost my mind! (I was probably close.) But suddenly the girls started doing their homework. The Boy quit whining and wanted to help with dinner. Hulkster hugged my leg. DH started solving the TV problem instead of bitching about absentee extension cords. 

My migraine was creeping up on me again, so at the end of dinner, I looked at DH and said, “I am no longer on duty tonight as a mom. You will now deal with all of this,” as I gestured to the dinner mess and the kids. He began to protest until I said, “Ice pick.” He nodded in assent commenced dinner clean-up, putting kids to bed, and doing dishes.

DH knows I’m joking about the ice pick (well, mostly) but sometimes I catch him looking in the drawer to make sure it’s there and not hidden under my pillow.