Jane Jetson & My Sins

I’m going to admit one of my sins to you. What sin? That of being covetous. What do I covet? Not money, cars, or someone else’s spouse. No, I covet the kitchen from “The Jetson’s”. Why? Because it was self cleaning.

Today I cleaned my disaster of a kitchen. How big of a disaster? Well the governor had scheduled a flyover for later this week and FEMA was about to offer aide. I’ve tried to teach the girls, and DH, that it is better to “clean as you go” when working in the kitchen, instead of leaving all the mess for the end of the project (it doesn’t get cleaned because they claim there is never time after). But they don’t listen and the result is sticky, dirty, and messy everywhere. You are probably saying to yourself, “Oh, it can’t have been that bad, she must be exaggerating.” Oh it was THAT bad. To give you an idea of the size, it is an eat in kitchen with two refrigerators and table for four. There was no access to the window or the table, there was just a narrowish path from the stove on one end to the extra refrigerator on the other end.  What was this epic, about-to-be-on “Hoarders” mess made up of? Many, many, things.

A pile of empty cereal boxes, pizza boxes, bacon wrappers, dirty paper towels, empty toaster strudel boxes piled on top of the stove (as if becoming a “found object” art exhibit). All kinds of unrinsed, unwashed, unscraped dishes (there were some quests for new antibiotics I SERIOUSLY considered throwing away instead of washing). Multiple pairs of shoes and clothing items, belonging to the girls and DH (because their clothing drops where they remove it). Assorted papers that the girls should have trashed (but instead became a new floor covering). Crayons, pencils, pens, markers, tape, magnets, and books that the girls should have put away (instead became an obstacle course to avoid potential middle of the night foot injuries). Toys (of all sorts).  Clean dishes that just got piled up on the counters (new storage system or just laziness?) Assorted packages of crackers, bagels, and chips that just didn’t get put back in the cabinet (wouldn’t want to expire from hunger because they had to walk to the pantry). Mustn’t forget the muddy footprints from humans and dogs (a pattern for the new flooring).

What brought my kitchen to the point that it took two trash cans full of trash, two big storage tubs of stuff that doesn’t belong in the kitchen , two loads through the dishwasher (many more to go), scrubbing and scraping the counters, stove, and sink, (really, do none of them know how to use a paper towel?) a thorough vacuuming, then mopping, to make my kitchen clean? Is it really that DH and the girls crave careeres a Found Object Artists? No. Is it that they aspire to fame and fortune as the developers of a new antibiotic or adhesive? No. Are they trying to save the environment through alternative floor coverings? No. Really, the kitchen reached that point because I became ill, and DH and the girls are unwilling to pick up after themselves without continued reminders from me.

 Would I trade DH or my kids (or the dogs) for a continually clean kitchen? No, of course I wouldn’t. But even though I know it’s a sin, I still envy Jane Jetson that self cleaning kitchen!