Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Fantasies & Dreams

We all have fantasies, things we dream about; new car, winning the lottery, losing 15 pounds, meeting our soul mate. We all fantasize and dream. But I think moms (especially SAHMs/SAHDads) fantasize and dream about different things than most people do. Oh sure, we dream about cars, money, chocolate that makes you lose weight, calorie free wine, and we fantasize about hunky men (or for the men, hot women) we see on TV. I’ll tell you non-moms a little secret though, those aren’t the things we really dream and fantasize about in the deep dark corners of our hearts and souls. 

If you were able to see into the very soul of a mom the dreams and fantasies you would find are probably things that non-moms might take for granted.

We dream of a day when we are allowed to use the bathroom unaccompanied and uninterrupted. Not even long enough to bathe, just long enough to pee!

We fantasize about counter tops that are not sticky or piled with dirty dishes.

We dream of not running out of milk because the person that drank the last of it didn’t write it on the list.

We fantasize about taking a shower and actually having enough hot water (and shampoo) to wash AND rinse our hair, and maybe even a clean, dry towel to use after the shower.

We dream of a dining room table with a centerpiece that doesn’t get used as a football. 

We fantasize about having a Christmas tree in the “perfect spot” in the living room instead of locked behind a gate so the baby doesn’t eat the glass ornaments.

We dream of the day we don’t run around like crack monkeys with OCD, checking and re-checking every that the bathroom door is closed, just to keep the toddler from drowning himself in the toilet.

We fantasize about wearing clothing that is not used as a burp rag or napkin. (Although if you are “busty” like I am that napkin thing might be unattainable.)

We dream of, well, dreaming, or at least sleeping long enough to actually have a chance to dream.

We fantasize about having conversations with other adults, that do not involve using the words; poop, diapers, or thrush. (Unless of course you’re a physician, then all bets are off.)

We dream of not tripping over baby gates resulting in all manner of injuries and spills.

We fantasize about a day we do NOT know the “plot” of every episode of “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse”, or what Dora has in her backpack. (Oh to not know the words to the backpack song, clearly written by a drug addicted gerbil.)

We dream of not searching the entire house for the missing set of eyeglasses needed by a child who hates them but cannot see the board without them.

We fantasize of a day when everyone in the house can and does self dress, giving us time to comb our hair, and maybe change out of our pajamas before school drop off. 

We dream of not spending our Saturdays running endlessly to practices, games, and sleepover pickups.

But, as much as we moms dream and fantasize about all of those things (and others) when the day comes for each of those to be fulfilled we will also cry a little because it means our “babies” are a little more grown up, and a little closer to leaving us behind to start living their own fantasies and dreams.


  1. As a "mother" of five, I just about fell out of my chair laughing at this. Even though my kids have 4 feet, long tails and speech impediments, I still long to pee by myself, have an hour where I'm not having to get up every five minutes in order to pull someone off the counters, drapes, plants, etc., and to be able to sleep through the night without someone pouncing on my head wanting to play at 3 in the morning. My "children" may not be human, but just like toddlers they have temper tantrums, do things they know are against the rules, refuse to eat what I put in front of them just b/c they had it last week, and drive me to the point of drinking. And much like the tiny humans, just when I'm about to strangle them, they look at me with those big eyes and do something so cute, I melt.

  2. Well said! Thank you for puting in to words, what we all feel!

  3. I actually teared up at the end...so true...as much as I want those things I dread my babies leaving home someday :(

  4. It's like you stole the thoughts right out of my head!!

  5. We fantasize about a day we do NOT know the “plot” of every episode of “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse”, or what Dora has in her backpack. (Oh to not know the words to the backpack song, clearly written by a drug addicted gerbil.)
    Hear, hear! Reading the rest made me think more of my mom than myself; I think she would have related so, so very well. To every single bit of this. But the Dora thing? And Clubhouse? It won't escape my brain.

    But as you said in the end, it's not forever. Sometimes I tell myself that when I'm grumpy to cheer myself up, only to startle myself into realizing I'm one day closer to a world where my son is no longer an arm's reach away.