Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Zombie Apocalypse Meal Planning

I’m sure this exchange happens in many houses every night; “Mom, what’s for dinner?” “We’re having delicious fluffy clouds of gastric delight.” “Aw Mom, I hate that!” I know it happens in my house. It’s not that my children are not what one typically considers a picky eater. They will eat most forms of protein (OCDIva gags on shrimp). They will consume any fruit (except Kiwi, the weirdoes, I love Kiwi). They readily consume vegetables (except for cauliflower which I also hate). They are also very fond of dairy and breads. So why is almost every dinner met with, “Yuck! I don’t want that!” “Ugh, I hate that!” “That’s so disgusting!”? I have no idea. It’s not as though I serve shrimp, Kiwi, and cauliflower at each meal.  (I think some of it is just defiance. Whatever the reason, I find it worrisome because I fear that will this type of food antipathy they will not survive the Zombie Apocalypse due to starvation.

I envision the Zombie Apocalypse being a test not only of our weaponry stockpiles, but also our food and beverage stockpiles. My house should be pretty easy to zombie proof (and like the average American raised by a Republican I am armed to the teeth), so I think the kids, DH, and I can just hole up in the house until the whole thing passes (plus we live in a residential area rife with the elderly, and you know what they say, you don’t have to be faster than the zombie, just faster than your slowest neighbor). But we will need to have a stockpile of food to eat until civilization is up and running again. Therein lies the problem.

What to feed four kids when running out to Kroger every day isn’t really an option? (I assume the zombies will enter Kroger in search of food and get lost amid the myriad aisles in search of the free samples purveyors and eventually die of starvation because you can never find those people.) I suppose that we could go with the theory that the kids will eat when they become hungry enough, but that will mean some pretty cranky kids until that moment arrives. Somehow I don’t think letting the kids eat Kiddy Crack (Pixie Stix) and cookies for the months it will take to be rid of zombies roaming the streets (and the aisles of Kroger), is going to cut it. Maybe some tried and true “Kid Favorites” will get us by if not keep up exactly the picture of health (note to self begin stockpiling pepperoni, sharp cheddar cheese, various crackers/chips, assorted canned fruits, and  vitamins).

I suppose there might be a benefit to the Zombie Apocalypse Meal Plan, after it’s over, the kids might not complain so much about what they are served for dinner. I would think a nice plate of shrimp scampi with veggies over linguini would be a nice change of pace after months of Vienna sausages and fruit cocktail, don’t you think?  Hmm, I wonder if Zombie Mothers ever get complaints from their kids about dinner, “Aw Mom! I don’t like lawyer’s brains, I like doctor’s brains!” 


  1. Call it veggies over brains and the kiddo will eat it. Ha!

  2. I love this! hehehe Zombies. Gave my kids the option to either try it or go to bed. It's a win win either way. They eat it if they want to stay up and if not I have them in bed an hour early. I make them sit there for a while too. Usually dinner is around 6-630. If they haven't tried something by 7-730 we go brush teeth and go to bed. If they really don't like something I don't force them to eat it but they have to try everything. Last night I made tuna casserole which all my kids like, and the youngest refused to eat it. Off to bed you go! My whole house was asleep by 8 and I had the rest of the night to myself.